Power Struggle

(just want to put a disclaimer that this is different than most of my posts)

I live near Philly and a hot topic right now is the 'right to smoke'. As I was driving home today I noticed an amusing bumper sticker that said "At least I can still smoke in my car". I cracked a smile at it and it really made me wonder about the whole push to ban smoking from all public places in Philadelphia. It already exists in all of New York and that state didn't fall apart but I think I am for freedom of the business to decide. (fyi: the ban recently got voted down)

However, this post isnt so much about the proposed ban but about who rules who: Consumer, Business, or Government. It's probably not fair to pick any of these as the sole power, because they all interact together, but I would still like to explore this issue quickly.

Consumer: We essentially have the power to vote and to choose what to buy thus giving us power over government and business. However, business and government are both smarter entities then consumers and have long spun truth to get us to do their agenda and we can only buy what they present and only vote for those on the ballot. Our democracy almost hurts itself because our lack of unity as people without government results in a useless attempt to fight against the machine, thus forcing us to choose one of the canidates on the ballot. Take for instance this election, I really didnt like either major canidate but I chose one because I know placing a name in the ballot would of been useless. Since we'll be using smoking as our example lets see how this plays out. Consumer's know that smoking is harmful to their health, most likely deadly, but we keep doing it. Why? Maybe because business has done such a good job promoting it as something that we need. The government even underestimated the cunningness of the business to lead the consumer when they added the warning to the packet and commercial ads to deter the consumer...win goes to business.

Government: They are considered by most to have the power over anything else but I tend to not think it is that simple. Government is done on a voting process and to get into government you need grants and support...who is the support? Business and consumers, mostly business monetarily. So government officials are often paid by the ones they are voting to do something about. Lets look at smoking again...A billion dollar industry, the government has ads about the harmfulness of it yet keep it legal. Why? Because they are supported by this big business and to just cut it out would result in massive job loss, tax loss and consumer outcry (loss of votes). So even though they recognize it as something they do not want they are 'forced' to keep it alive.

Business: I lean towards the idea that this group has the quiestest control (not nessecarily the most just the quietest). We have already looked at few aspects of what part business has of the power pie but let's look at another aspect. Where do consumers get the money to buy from business? The business itself. So in a way the business regulates the consumer's needs and wants, not to mention advertising. I recognize I am talking about business like it is a person but in a way they do work together while the same time against each other, so I am going to place business as one entity. Let us look at smoking one final time. Business knows it is harmful yet keeps selling it. Why? Because the end goal is to make money (not saying this is bad just the way it is, Im not sure it is fair to ask business to change their theory). Business recognizes that it takes money to make money so they spend and spend to lead us where they can sell things to us, and spend money to government so they leave them alone. So business power is mostly based in the money aspect.

Whats all this mean? I dont really know. But i wanted to work this out and it wasnt going anywhere in my head. I'm still not sure who has the most power, probably none and I suppose thats good. I think the best way to look at it is like a water cycle. All aspects feed into each other to keep the others alive. Feel free to make your hypothesis' in the comment area.

For Real?

I was recently inspired by an blog from Real Live Preacher (see right hand side RLP) entitled "telling the truth". It brought me to the realization that I really am, still, deeply self-decieved. There are things I believe about myself that just aren't true. I wasnt going to post this because it might look like an attempt to look more godly by saying I am not. But I finally decided to because I am also afraid to post it. If I am afraid to post it, that means there are things in there that people who read this probably believe about me that aren't true. So I've decided to put it up. However, I also run the disclaimer that part of the "looking more godly" could still be a motivation and for that I apologize and ask you to look beyond it in hopes that it may make you feel uncomftorable and inspire you to be honest with yourself.

Honesty, its something I believe that I am most of the time but I want to write about myself no holds bar. Take away all the crap that people see, all the falsities that people believe, all the things I want people to think of me and leave the real me, the ugly bruised, scared, lonely me. I don’t think I even know sometimes what it real and what is a lie. Its not that I am a person who cant stop lying its just that I always tend to lie to myself about who I am. I am deeply sef-decieved.

I love to get praise. I love it when you tell me I did a good job. It feels good like a pet on the ego. I think I do a lot of things for your praise, sometimes even leading worship music in church. I know its sad, and I will deny it to you that this is true but when you say good job I take it in and don’t give it back to Jesus all too often.

I love to be right and sound smart. I will be right at all costs: your feelings, emotions, truth and pain. I really don’t care if I hurt you in the process I just don’t want my pride to get damaged. I believe I know more than you, even though I know I don’t. I believe you have more to learn from me that I have to learn from you. I would much rather talk then listen!

I love to look humble. I know the right things to say and the right way to act so that you will think I am more godly than you.

I don’t really care about you. I will pretend to listen and care about what you have to say but in reality my mind is drifting because it really doesn’t interest me that much. My feelings are hardly ever affected by what you say and I am barely ever moved to change who I am because of what you tell me.

I am afraid. Im afraid this is all just lie and my life is really meaningless. I am afraid to tell you the truth and to show you the real me. I am afraid to live with faith. I am afraid to get out of this comftorable boat. I am afraid to trust. I am afraid to give up control. I am afraid to let you hold me. I am afraid to stop moving. I am afraid to question.. I am afraid to look at myself. I am afraid to move forward. I am afraid of love. I am afraid to lose control. I am afraid God is real. Im afraid God isnt real. I am afraid of sacrifice. I am afraid of what God has in store for me. I am afraid we are alone.

Who cares...

Decisions, actions, implications, consequences, feelings, thoughts, fears, failures, success', words, misunderstandings, love, faith, hope...it's life and sometimes I hate it. It's more complicated then any formula, too many variables to ever figure it out and too many questions to ever answer. So why bother? Why bother thinking about these things, why take the time to do something which you will never finish? Why not just live the way that makes you most happy at any moment?

It seems odd to me that we consistently choose the unanswerable questions to tackle and the insurmountable tasks to overcome. Why not just always take the easy road? Some do, I don't think I know any but I assume there are people who don't ask the hard questions and always take the easiest path (although I doubt any of them would read my blog).

It is an interesting dichotemy between a desire to acheive and the desire for sloth. I think most people have battles between the two; wanting to do good at school but not wanting to study hard, wanting a good relationship but not wanting to sacrifice anything, wanting a deeper Christian life but not putting time into spiritual disciplines. Almost every decision I make, I find myself at this crossroad. Do I want it enough to give up of myself? But if I give up myself what am I gaining....my real self, peace, joy?

I dont really know but maybe our joys are messed up from what our culture presents us. Maybe what we really want isnt to feel good in the moment but to seek after the greater things in life such as sacrifice, accomplishement, creating, love, faith. None of these things are 'easy' but when they happen, when you give up yourself for someone else, when you work hard as you can on a paper, when a teacher challenges you and you find out you could do it...those are the times I sense a deeper lasting joy. Whenever I choose sloth, an empty feeling always seems to reside in me, a soft voice of failure and regret. One of these days maybe I'll really learn that sloth is never what I am seeking after...even in the moment.

A compromise

I have long been a hater of 'radio'. This is coming from someone who loves music and every chance I get will listen to it. I never listen tothe radio in the car, hate it when people have it on in the car, and really don't know any stations that I like. I have long waged a war against the radio, boycotting it from my life whenever I have a chance for about 3 years now. I would rather go silent in the car before turning on the radio anymore. Well something has happened recently, I have found something close enough to radio that I might have been turned back to it. Launchcast on yahoo! has pulled me in. I dont know if its that I get to rate music, artist and album or that they actually play what I list highly but it is the best thing in radio I have come across yet. You need to get an account to have your own station but its worth it, even if a 30 second commercial is played every 5 songs or so. If I don't like the song I even get to skip foward (after I rank it low). No, im not employed by these people and no I dont give recommendations out easily. Check it out if you also hate radio but need some music on your computer that varies. Some problems do exist...as my cousin mike put it "Stupid thing doesnt support OS X!!!" I also can't seem to run it from Mozilla Firefox and lastly it does sometimes play music that I have no clue why, but I can skip over it. If anyone figures out the Firefox issue let me know.

Launch

Help

I need some help on a song I've been working on. It is based on Romans 8, at the end where Paul talks about nothing being able to seperate us from God's love. I figure the more input the better. I realize you dont know the melody, but its 7 syllables then 5 in the verses and thats where I need help. So join in with your creative voices after you read Romans 8. Here is what i have so far:

Nothing can seperate us
Nothing can keep Your love away

There is no mountain too high
no valley too low
There is no river too wide
no ocean to deep
There is no power too strong
no frailty too weak

Memories

Memories are an interesting thing. Why do certain ones stick with us while others stay no longer than a few moments? What about some story or fact catches our attention enough to store it in a place we consider important enough to recall anytime we want?

As I was talking with a friend today we got on the topic of our high school sports days. Ahhh, the memories. Most of my memories involve volleyball since that was the sport I was really focused on. It's funny which parts I remember, there arent many memories of specific moments, more just the overall picture of how much I enjoyed it. There are the few that stick out where I remember doing something well, and the few where I remember doing something ...umm not so well. I also remember the bus rides, the jokes, the lockeroom pranks, the horrible coaching, the goofy teamates and learning how to lead.

It's not like I sit around thinking "oh those were the days", it's just makes me think of who I am. In a way, I am the sum of my memories. What sort of identity would we have without memories? I once heard that a goldfish's memory is so short that after one swim around the bowl it has forgotten everything it started with, interesting. ..