The Battle of Acme

I'd like to recount a war story for you. A story where there can only be one winner. A battle so fierce only one could walk away proud. It is the account of the war in Acme on April 19 2005 at approximatly 11:00 pm .

It was a normal night, maybe a little warm for the time of year, but nothing that would anticipate the battle about to ensue. The two opponents didn't know each other before their chance encounter on this humid night but a fierce rivalry would quickly develop . There was no preperation, no strategies, no plan... only reaction.

I had gone to only buy 2 things: the tasty treats called ritz s'mores and a bucket (don't ask). I didn't come asking for trouble, but trouble seems to find me...always has. I have what some people would call an 'edge', something that just attracts confrontation. I don't mind usually, however, on this night I was hoping to have a calm normal night.

I quickly found my two items of choice and was in the process of locating what I thought was the quickest cashier line. Only 2 lines were open at this time of the night, both having lines that snaked out past the tabloids which people were so engrossed in. I decided to try something new, I had only once previously attempted this feet and was successful, however the light shone with a disdaining brightness in aisle 1 mocking me with words of "self-checkout". There was a reason there was no one there, they had all been defeated by the beast previously, standing there shamefully waiting for an employee to come help them figure out how that darn contraption works... I know, I've seen them standing there dazed, beaten, confused, defeated. Men have lost thier manhood there and women have lost children while battling the beast. However, on this fateful night, I decided to grab my sling with a few stones and approach Goliath confidently.

I thought to myself, "Only two items, this will be a sintch". I forgot that pride can cause defeat before one even starts. Little did I know Self-Checkout was an in ornery mood this night, maybe no one was challenging him. I start by opening the white plastic Acme bag up so that I can just place the bucket in after I scan it (the trick is never moving the material once you place it on the weighted mat). This time, however, Self-Checkout wouldn't let me by so easily. As I opened the bag the words "do not remove item" shouted back at me. I quickly took guard pushing cancel. It didn't work Self-Checkout repeated his phrase with even more contempt "do not remove item!". I try pushing cancel again...this time success! I had hoped this would defeat the enemies spirit but it seemed to make him even more irritatble.

I begin the checkout process by scanning the bucket (once again don't ask why I needed a bucket at 11pm at night). It scanned with ease, my confidence was up, and I quickly place it in the already opened bag but I make a huge tactical mistake. I don't place it in the bag completely and it falls out onto the mat. At this point I knew that the tide had changed, Self-Checkout had made his move. I hastily put the bucket in the bag, but it's too late as I hear "do not remove item from bag". The screen has a red circle with a line through it denoting that I have been struck and am bleeding. My confidence is faltering at this point. I try picking the bucket up and placing it back in with hopes Self-Checkout will be thrown off guard by this unrecommended move. He isn't, he just mocks me again with "do not remove item from bag" in, what this time, sounds almost like a laugh.

It was at this point I noticed an Acme employee watching the whole battle. He had a dissapointing look on his face that said "I thought this one had a chance". As he meandered his way over, allowing me time to come up with an excuse why I was defeated so quickly, I thought to myself "until next time Self-Checkout...until next time". He had thrown in the towel for me, he didnt want me to end up like Apollo Creed in Rocky IV. The portly fellow quickly pushed some buttons on his computer and my screen no longer had the red circle with a line throught it laughing at me. He then came over as I slowly backed away from my enemy and finished my checkout. He was extremely nice with a smile on his face, not a mocking one but one that gave the feeling of "you're not the only one son, there have been many before and there will be many after". I never could look him in the eyes, but I graciously accepted his consolation. I think a small part of my manhood is still in that Acme. It is not lost forever, only temporarly till I decide to battle the beast again. Until that day... I will be training.

Untitled

I watched a video on Mother Teresa the other day. If you ever read or hear anything about this amazing woman you are always left feeling very small and insignificant. She didn't speak too much in the documentary but almost everything she said was "quotable".

One thing I thought was interesting was that she said whatever vocation you are called into you must serve God. If anyone else would have said this, it would have gone in one ear and out the other. However, when Mother Teresa speaks...you must listen. She said "if you are called to live in a palace you must serve God in a palace, if you are called to be poor and work in Calcutta you must serve God in your poverty...however you must never aspire to live in a palace or even be in poverty but merely serve God".

As this quote sunk in (I cant remember the next 10 minutes of the video) I thought is that really true? Obviously the first answer is yes and I think that is correct but in a way isnt being poor a blessing. I tend to know many more poor people who are fervent in thier trust and faith in Jesus than those that are wealthy and living in our $200,000 palaces. In poverty we become stripped of all our tangible gods (money, fame, security, entertainment etc) and we are left with nothing to trust except the invisible God. While in wealth we are surrounded by many things to place our trust in that are easily destroyed by moths. Is living a "harder life" actually easier in the eyes of Christianity? And if so...why are hardly any of us doing it then?

I think Mother Teresa's quote is absoulely true. However I also think we, in America, use quotes like that to justify our wealth. Is America really 'called' to be the place where 90% + of all the wealth in the world resides*. Are we really chasing God's calling in our lives or are we chasing worldly securities? The biggest voice in my head says "I am no Mother Tersea, I am mild mannered Andrew with no super strengths or super faith". Mother Teresa was no super woman or faith, she was no Jesus, she was merely a person who loved or as she put it "it is His (Jesus') love in action through us" (something she mentioned about 10 times in the video)

Christ's love in action through us just might be the kingdom come.

*not sure about that number but I do know its rediculous

Springtime bliss

I love it...the smell, sounds, colors, life. Coming out of winter and into spring is one of the best feelings of the year. The frowns of winter are now all turned upside down. Today is one of those days you wish you could bottle up and open when things go wrong. On days like this there isnt much that can bring you down. I love the way the light just seems to supply the music for everything to dance to. Kind of like the conductor of a great orchestra leading his/her musicians to a near perfect dance of notes and instruments. The flowers are blooming, the birds are singing and the animals are dancing...everything seems in harmony. There are all kinds of analogies that I could bring up here, but as the Gribbmister once said "I'm just going to enjoy this"...see you oustide! (you can picture me prancing in long grass if it'll make you smile)

Pope

I found this link ( http://desperatehouseflies.blogspot.com/ ) today as I was blog fishing. Very interesting article on how the next Pope will be elected. As a non-catholic I was curious of the process. It is under April 5th's blog.

The Real World

So I've been waiting around for my brother to have twins. It is a very odd feeling. I have moments of excitement, fear, anxiety and everything in between. Part of me still doesnt believe it is actually going to happen...Im not old enough to have a brother who is having twins. They should be popping out any day now. Everytime my phone rings I think its going to be my brother and when he calls I always assume its with news on the babies. Most of all everytime the phone rings I think that this shouldnt be me in this situation.

Im only 22 years old (well about to be 23), why does it feel like I'm so old. I am about to graduate college! I still remember when college seemed like some distant land in a fairy tale. I assume everyone goes through this stage of uncertainty when they are coming to the end of anything familar and moving into new territory. I still don't plan on entering what people like to call "the real world" since seminary seems to be my next fairy tale land.

I really am scared to enter into this supposed 'real world'. I have seen many people die in that world. Yeah, they still walk and talk but they arent the same living person they were when they entered into that dark world. I see them smile less, laugh a little bit differently, dress tighter and even talk about finances and marriage often. I dont know what it is about this 'real world', since I have never been there, that changes you but I am content in not thinking of finances or dressing any differently yet. I often wonder if I am alone in my convictions. It seems like most people want to get to the 'real world'. I am in no rush, I am actually rebelling and trying not to enter in ever but I doubt I will be successfull.

I've met a few people who have resisted successfully. They enter the 'real world' but are not killed by it. I know of one such man who seems to only visit the 'real world' from 9-5pm Monday through Friday. He seems different he is old but he seemed to still be alive. His mind still seems to wonder, he seems open to change, he still seems able to laugh and doesnt seem to be beaten down by the hours spent in that dreaded 'real world'. Maybe one day I will ask him his secret. How can I live in the 'real world' but never actually be killed by it? How can I avoid the soul snatching that goes on there? Is there some trick?

Well for now, I will continue my rebellion against this place called 'real world' in hopes that I might stay alive. I am contemplating re-naming myself NEO for the sake of being dramatic.