Thought Provoker
I don't have much time to write. These first two weeks of August have been pretty crazy for me, not to mention a week without the internet (stupid Comcast). I just wanted to post a thought to see if people would respond to it. We talked about this is our book club for a little bit (man, that makes me sound like a geek).
Is being "nice" always a part of love?
Now, I realize nice and love both need to be defined, but you can do that in your response.
posted by NJ Lawyer @ 3:51 PM
15 comments
15 Comments:
As soon as I read the statement, my immediate thought was that being nice is absolutely a part of love. Then I ignored it and did a few hours of work and I just came back to it and now my response is no. My argument for that comes from the example of disciplining a child. Sometimes to help a child learn right and wrong it is required to discipline him or her so that they may learn that their wrong actions have a consequence. So disciplining a child out of love for them is one way in which love is shown without being necessarily nice.
I dunno. I think that when its like wut whips said like a parent thing i think he's right. But when it's loving someone you don't want to, i think you need to be nice. How are you supposed to show love to someone if you aren't nice to them? When i think of being nice i think of talking to them, and mostly swallowing your pride and forgetting whatever it is that makes them not your favorite person. Nice is defintly a necessity in showing love to someone you really wouldn't want to.
No, but showing respect is.
I like that answer JFrizz. Although I agree with everyones answer so far. I tend to think you dont need to be nice but I define nice as making the other person feel good.
I don’t, I think that answer sucks lol. What are you talking about? Give me an example in which you are showing respect, out of love, without being nice? Exactly, showing respect in itself is a nice thing to do. So since “respect” is a subgroup of being “nice”, then if your statement of showing respect is always a part of love then it must also hold true that being nice is always a part of love. But I look forward to seeing what example you undoubtedly will come up with here.
It's like Drew said, you have to define nice and love. We obivously have different views of nice.
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Whats up with all the comment advertisements all the sudden?
Chadd, how about you define nice and respect first.
Yeah, they've been bothering me alot also, as you already saw. You know you can delete them forever, so as to not have this ominous "This post has been removed by the blog administrator." thing.
I don't think being nice is always a part of love, but I tend to associate a loving attitude with being nice most times. When I am mean, sarcastic, etc towards a person, I feel as if I am failing to love them. I agree that chastising is something that should be done, but you don't have to do it in a mean/nasty way. I don't know if it would still seem nice though... I hope you understand what I mean.
I think that I agree with both Nate and Jon...
Respect has to be a part of love, but I don't think 'being nice' is. I think my main reason for thinking that is I don't think honesty is a part of being nice. Sometimes you tell the truth even when it isn't the 'nice' thing to do.
I also liked what Nate had to say about the opposite of being nice is probably unloving.
First, Grib give me an example then where respect is a part of love and nice isn’t? I really don’t understand your honesty example either; try to explain it to me if you can. But my example for the opposite being true would be like showing love to someone you don’t see or talk to. Like sending money to a compassion child would be an example of this. You are being nice to the child out of love. Are you showing respect to him out of love?
Drew as for the definitions of the words, well that’s my point here. I’m sure you can go and pick out a single definition for each word in order to make the statement work. But my point is that the word nice is so broad and has so many definitions that no matter how you choose to define the word respect you will be able to portray some aspect of the situation as being “nice”. However that is also what makes your initial statement in your blog so interesting and thought provoking; because really in every situation of showing love you can find an aspect of nice. Take my example of disciplining a child from above. It is nice that the parent cares enough about the child to discipline them so that they will learn from their mistakes. But I’m not so sure about respect being used in EVERY aspect of love, thus this ongoing discussion.
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