Deer vs. Pools

As I was sitting out on my back porch/sun room doing some study. I had an interesting visit. Four deer decided to come by and say hi, although ever so cautiously. I just recently moved to this new location and this is still a new experience for me. It isn't the first time deer have stopped by but it still leaves me in awe watching them.

It made think about how much we are missing out with the suburban sprawl. My backyard consists of a forrest no bigger then 2 city blocks but inhabits all kinds of interesting creatures. Most backyards now are the end of other peoples backyards. It doesnt take much to allow nature its space.

Ialso wondered why the deer chose my yard. Do I have extra delicous bushes? Probably not, but as I looked over to my left and right both the yards were fenced in leaving my yard as the only open feeding ground. They both have pools so the law requires fences, but is that luxury worth the cost of an intimate experience with nature, with which we are wired to be a part of? We erect fences to keep out the animals from our gardens as the worms fertilize our soil, we have bug catchers in our yards but kill every spider we see, do you see the irony? Im not saying we should live on grass and dirt but maybe we should rethink some of the technologies we concieve of to keep us away from that dirty, messy and ugly thing called nature. It seems like the more technologies the more problems.

The myth that nature is some seperate entity from us has left us losing our identity as humans for years. Reread God's first command in Genesis to us, we seem pretty connected to me.



**I urge you to read Ishmael if this topic interests you at all

Jesus! Be Nice!

I have to get something off my chest. It's been bothering me for some time now. I apologize if I come off as a cynical know-it-all in this blog but it is my one place I feel safe to express my frustrations and anger, especially with American Evangelical Christianity (God, I hate that term). There is no one that is going to completely misunderstand me and get mad because of the 'fear of change', there is no one that is going to argue with me without ever trying to see my point of view and there is no one that is going to claim I am not a christian because of some things I believe (ok well maybe the last one might happen, but I'm ok with that).

Getting to the point... If you're going to school for ministry you get fed a lot of information and most of the time it just goes in without ever being processed because there is just so much of it. This field loves to cram as much information as possible in you without giving you the opportunity to reflect on it (not saying this is a bad thing, it's just is the way schools work now). The positive side of this is you end up with alot of head knowledge with facts, figures, and models; the negative side is you're not completely sure how it all fits together or even how to apply it to real life. As it fate would have it, a piece of information slipped into the relfection area of my brain and guess what? I didn't like the results.

The line I read was "Always give generous praise to those around you". Something didn't seem right, usually I will just keep reading because of the massive amount I need to get done but this time I decided to ponder it. Did Jesus contantly heap praise on his disciples? Well I dont see much evidence of it in the gospels or the letters. In fact most the letters were written because people were screwing up not doing well. So why do all these different books and people keep telling me the same thing...give out praise to people. A word of warning: I will probablly swing this pendulum pretty far in the other direction to prove a point.

Here is my hypothesis: a simple answer...because we all love praise from each other, so if we give it we'll get some back. It's true but is it really Christian? The Bible says to exort and encourage but I dont find any reference to heaping praise on each other. John even talks about the Pharisees loving the praise of men more then God (12:43). In Ephesians we are told to "live for the praise of Christ"...not man (1:12). In 1 Peter we are told "govenors are sent to praise those who do right", but we still have not been commanded to dole out praise (2:14). 1 Thessalonians tells us to "encourage and build up one another" which is close and is probably what is being perverted.

I think it's nessecary to distinguish between praise and encourage. Here are the three definitions given by webster for encourage : 1. to inspire with courage, spirit or hope 2. to spur on 3. to give help or patronage to. I wish I knew Greek but I don't so English is what I am going to work with. Here is the definition for praise: 1. to express a favorable judgement of 2. to glorify by attribution of perfections. Hopefully my point is starting to become clear. We like to choose praise over encouragement because it makes us feel good, wanted, accepted, warm n fuzzy, important...it pets our ego and boy do we love to purr. I don't think this is what the author ever intended in 1 Thess. However I think this is what the authors intended in Ephesians and John, they knew the dangers of petting the ego, we become addicted to it.

I'm advised to pet the ego of the volunteers so they'll stick around, not because the B-i-b-l-e tells me so. If anything I find more passages warning people of the consequences of thier negative actions. Pastors arn't supposed to do that now-a-days, they are supposed to smile and be nice. "Lovely solo during the offering Sally", "Great job on that prayer Tim"...thats what you'll usually hear after a service. I don't know if there is anything inherently wrong with saying those things, but I think we've come to expect them so much now that we are seeking the praise of man and not Christ. Jesus called Peter Satan...SATAN!! He also called him out when he asked "Why'd you doubt?" and lets not forget when the Zebedee brothers were looking for some praise and asking Jesus to let them sit at the right and left hand in Jesus' kingom Jesus answered, to be first you must be last, NOT "Hey you know, your doing a great job being a disciple, you really are, I enjoy having you around but right now I just can't tell you that, keep on working hard and we'll see". And the disciples were supposed to be living for the praise of Jesus!!

Leave the praise for Jesus people. Encourage and admonish one another, not glorify.

Mirage

It was around 5:45 in the evening when I was driving to the church I work at. I 've driven this road a hundred times before but I saw something I had never seen before. There was a huge mountain in front of me. How could I have never seen this before? I live in New Jersey, a state that is above water because of sedimentation coming off the appalachians for millions of years. Mountains dont appear in areas like this. I stared at it for about a minute trying to figure out how it got there. I know it wasnt there last week but it was absolutely beautiful. Nothing made sense, the mountain started moving and changing colors. As I made the turn it became obvious that it was just a cloud playing tricks on my mind. One of those clouds that take up the whole horizon in the shape of peaks and valleys. Never the less, it was still one of the most beautiful moments of my week and I dont care if it was just a cloud, it was a moment in the solace of the mountains for me.

I think sunset is the favorite time of the day for me. Did you ever think about how different colors originated? When I was younger I often wondered if there was a color inventor. How did someone think up red or aqua or pink? I now realize there is no human color inventors, only color copiers and mixers. Have you ever thought about how you would describe a color to someone that is blind? How much are we really inventing? I think a better word is discovering. I'm not quite sure we ever invent anything.

A Cry for Help

I read something recently (I think this is becoming a theme in my blog entries) that made me want to write something. It really is kind of amazing all the support and aid being given for the Tsunami victims from around the world. To see everyone coming together because of this tragedy. Take away things like the celebrity phonothon, basketball players giving a thousand dollars for every point scored and evangelicals claiming they know God's mind on why it happened and it really does astound me. However, this is what i read. "Millions die annually from malaria and AIDS in the countries devestated by the Tsunami. More die monthly due to these causes then the whole of the Tsunami." I was blown away, its funny how certain statements can completely change your persepective. Why is it so easy for us to support the "Tsunami victims" yet so hard for us to desire change in the poverty situation for many of these areas. My only guess is that we like projects that have visible results in a short time period and we see this recent tragedy as a project to be completed and admired once finished. We don't tend to like things that will take much time, generations probably, and continued support financially. We don't like to get messy, we don't like the idea of taking on other people's pain since it has that unwanted side effect of taking on pain yourself. Closing our eyes and joining the rich celebrities in giving money to the "Tsunami victims" suits our pleasure much better. If it takes a Tsunami or a blown up building to get American Christians to give some money away we are way off course in what it means to be a disciple of Christ. I wonder what we would have said if it didn't happen near any American vacation spot, or just solely on the coast of Africa. I tend to think it would have been a side statement in the news and on the 3rd page of the newpaper. Ive listed three organizations that I trust in and am a part of, check them out and not out of pity for the "Tsunami victims" but because you have the funds to have the internet and the time to read this blog.

www.worldvision.org
www.compassion.com
www.redcross.org

* the quote came out of the editors note in the magazine "Scientific American"

POH

As I was reading a book last week three words jumped out at me and wouldn't let me go. It was one of those times you read something and think "huh, thats a interesting" but keep on reading, only to find out about three hours later that the phrase still hasn't left your mind and it keeps getting bigger and bigger. The book didn't focus on these three words but I have a feeling that in a few months one of the only things im going to remember are these three words. Have I stirred up enough suspense to give them to you yet? I suppose so, drum role please.....'prisoners of hope'. Kind of anti-climatic wasn't it. I apologize if I let you down, it seemed more dramatic in my head, I guess you'll have to wait three hours.

All around me (and in me) I see despair, poverty, failure and I think does God really exist? Is there really any power in Jesus? If I was to answer this question out loud I am quite sure that I would say yes, but I think that deep down a part of me really wants to say no. How can all this stuff be true yet the church be what it is and the people who they are. How can I be a 'Christian' and look and think like this? I feel trapped between hope and despair. Kind of like the disciples huddling in a small room wondering what went wrong "how could our hope have been killed on a cross?" "How could we have let ourselves be vulnerable to the idea of hope, well it won't happen again, I'm not falling for it twice"--'Doubting' Thomas. It's probably the reason Thomas wanted to touch the hands of Jesus, the last thing he wanted to do was to give in to hope again, " there's no way im going to get crushed again under the false notion of hope again it hurts too much". I suppose this is why when picturing the disciples I always most associated myself with Thomas. Jesus knew Thomas wasn't doubting the way we think of doubt, he didn't need evidence to 'believe' he needed evidence to hope again, he was scared that Jesus really did raise from the dead, he was scared to place his hope back in Jesus. It probablly took him 3 days to harden his heart enough to believe that he never really hoped in Jesus in the first place. Hearing Jesus was alive just wasn't enough to break down that hardened heart.

However, can you imagine the joy in Thomas when the hands of Jesus were felt and the hardened heart was broken with hope restored. I think hope may be one of the hardest things for Christians caught in this time of "not yet", living in a world that has been redeemed but not fully. We have a foot placed in two realities, the one of a fallen world and the one of a redeemed world. One day the redeemed world will be the only reality but "not yet". It is placing my hope in the redeemed world that I find so difficult. Too often my eyes decieve me into believing some circumstance is more powerful than Jesus. I think this is why I love the phrasing so much. Prisoner has a dark and negative connotation while hope gives the impression of light and joy. Endearing the idea of "not yet".

I would have no other foundation to believe this phrase had Thomas not touched the hands of the living Jesus after his death on the cross. It is a hope that is greater then death and all that resides in this fallen world. It is in this hope where I find freedom to live as if there is more then what I see. I now realize that Easter is the cell in which I find myself a prisoner of hope. It's dark in here but I can also see a light.

Screwtape Letter

Dear Wormwood,
Your most recent letter to me was written with much fear and anxiety. I read your predicament and as your overseer I must strongly disagree with your prognosis. The current methods of consumerism and narcissism may not be applicable to your assignee but there is a time old method that has been used since the beginning of this horrid species that will be too sweet for him to withstand. Don't forget our Book of Order chapter 1, there is a story in there which both we and they share, how they still foolishly believe this story will ever end in victory for our enemy still astounds me. The story talks of the first victory by our Master. He is depicted as a snake in their book but our more accurate account shows Him to have taken on the form of a unicorn, the most beautiful of all the orginal species which no longer exists because of this very event. The two snakes called Adam and Eve have already at this point been told by their Warden not to eat of two trees. Our Master was delighted to know that elohim had given them this one command. As with every law given, we must see this as an opportunity for rebellion and not fear the possibility of further affection. This is why we still celebrate the Feast of the Commandments to this day, it was the first opening for us to truly wreak havoc in the relationship between elohim and the abjects. For some reason most of the abjects think of the golden calf to be something we created, or a victory for us, when we had nothing to do with it, that was something they came up with all on their own. It's the law that we were focused on, without it we had nothing to show the true imprisoning nature of our enemy, it was one of the greatest victories for our Master still to this day. It is by this standard we are able to show far more appealing options to the abjects.

Moving on away from the history lesson and back on to topic, the story goes on about how our Master revealed the truth to these snakes and gave them life to become "human". Elohim, in his ignorance, played into the Master's hand and gave them over to us in the form we now see them. It is this very method that I want to share with you wormwood. Our Master skillfully showed the wretched's that they do not need elohim and that they can become their own gods. The snakes were hesitant at first but eventually realized the truth and ate of the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. You may be asking what this has to do with your predicament. Well, the fruit is still available to give to all those who do not fall to the simplier methods described in earlier letters. There are still a few who can "see" beyond the emptyness of their lives and seek out our enemy, it seems you may have been assigned to one. Some even try to become leaders against us by enlisting into what they call the ministry. This is where you have described to me your assignee is at. Do not look at this as a failure, this is the place where the fruit tastes the most sweet, and the deception is the hardest for them to see. In their effort to crusade for the enemy we simply make them believe they are strong enough to be elohim himself thus negating the presence of the feared spirit. Some of our most significant victories have been achieved through those in the ministry. Remember the "Christian Crusade" we initiated a few centuries back? This was the very method used for that revival.

Allow your assignee to have success at first, do not try to make him fail, failure seems to cause these odd creatures to return to elohim, why they do not try harder I will never understand. In his success wisper in his ear, softly at first but louder the more he believes you, "elohim should be grateful to have you working for him, without you these people might be lost". Every once in a while remind your asignee that he needn't work on his own relationship to elohim, because he would be neglecting the people he is serving, adding in sometimes that the work he is doing daily is improving the relationship already. After a good amount of time your asignee should be more susceptible to the methods you are more familiar with such as lust, which also turns out to also be extra sweet for those in "ministry". Do not attempt to push your asignee too hard and/or too fast, be patient and allow him to gain confidence in his own power to resist the truth. It is in this very confidence that brings his guard down thus causing him to become the most susceptible. With him in this state of mind it should also allow you some time away from the feared warrior, nothing keeps him away more than confidence in self.

Finally, remember at all costs to keep him away from other's that "see" like him, this is something that must be prevented at all costs. You already know the effect of the weapon they label fellowship! We have made great strides in his culture dulling it down to a butter knife with the use of coffee and doughnuts. If he does happen to use this weapon correctly try to remind him that he must look like elohim, lest the people he is leading find out he is a fake. Keep up your hard work wormwood.

In the name of our Master,
Shadowalker

Steam

I don't feel nessecarily compelled to write anything today except for the fact that I havn't done it in a while. I have all kinds of papers to write, books to read and things to do that are probably a lot more important than this, but you know what? sometimes you just gotta say screw it, this is what I want to do. I guess this is starting to become a place where some tension is released. For some it's running, others eating and for most TV, a blog seems pretty good compared to some others that I can think of. Well this isn't what I was going to write about but i suppose ill post this little rant.