Bikes

You know... I used to be a fan of bikes. We were cool, never had any real problems. They got me places faster than I could walk and I would fill their tires when they would start going flat. Only that whole relationship changed this week. For some reason, the unspoked bond between bycicles and I was shattered. I dont know if it will ever be reconciled, there is still hope but it seems to be a long road. One that, honestly, I am just not sure I feel like traveling.

It all started in the blink of an eye. We were getting along fine. I road the white bomber (a white beach bike) down to the beach and locked her up. Leaving her all safe and sound with a nice view of the ocean and everything. When I returned to her she completely flipped out. Now mind you I admit that I might have looked at another bike on the rack rather enviously but it didnt really mean anything. As I mounted the white bomber I quickly realized the front tire was flat. As I started to walk the bike back the 6 blocks to the shore house in 90+ degree weather I saw that there was a screw lodged in the front tire. I smelled foul play right away. I couldnt just pull the screw out, I had to unscrew it out...seemed fishy.

If that was it, I might have just let it slide. However, as I pulled out another bike to ride it todayto the beach, the front tire was low and the seat was low. So I pulled out the tools to raise the bike seat only to find out the screw was rusted and wouldn't budge. Not to mention the bugs all up on me and the sunny day calling me to the beach. So I put that bike back and get out the bike with the oddest seat you have ever seen. The seat consists of two oval like pads that, I swear, are only there to cause immense pain to the buttox area. I then finally pull out a good one and give the pain in the butt bike to my freind Nate, who looks like he has a bad case of hemroids when he rode the bike.

Later that evening Nate and I decided we wanted to go out to eat so I again grab the one good bike (out of 5 that are usually rideable). Nate decided to try the low seat and low front tire bike instead of the pain in the butt bike this time. As Nate pulls out on his low rider I start to follow only to find out that my chain has fallen off. Mind you, this would just be considered normal except that the bike knew I was trying to get to diner and you cant get the chain back on without getting your fingers a complete mess. So I fix the chain and my fingers are all kinds of greased up. I then have to try to find something that will wash it off. A hose didnt work so then I had to get paint thinner and wash it off. To top it all off, I ended up getting a sandwhich and fries which I had to eat with paint thinner cleaned hands.

Moral of the story: Keep your eyes out, I think the bikes are trying to take over humans, they are tired of being our slaves